Unanswered letters to a ghost

T[here] is a ghost where there once was a girl. She seeks out death, chasing it tirelessly. To her, it feels unrequited. She doesn't realize the l[ight]ife within her is rapidly fading. We call her Hopeless Hopeful. There is little hope left inside her. Like a slow motion hour glass, her hope shrinks with each day. 
             Yet life still lives within.

"Hopeless Hopeful, why must you try and hide? We always find you.
Did you forget you and your brother are entangled together in these roots?"

•••

"Hopeless Hopeful,
Your brother's eyes, they will not open.
Your mother's eyes stay cold and numb.
The light, too, has left your face.

The light is gone from your eyes
At moments they spark, an explosion of light
An artificial fire, as you coat your heart in layers of gin.

Soon everything goes
Back to {black}."

•••

"Dear Hopeless Hopeful,
The light is gone from your eyes
Like your brother, you wish to close your eyes too.

Indefinitely, maybe?
Forever, please.

Your eyes remain as open as the beer in front of you.
But how much longer, my hopeless hopeful?
Where is the limit?
            Where is the limit?  
                         WHERE is the limit?"

•••

•••

•••

"Hopeless Hopeful, won't you speak?"

•••

       My baby brother, are you here?

           I cannot see you

                     

      Six bags line the garage

         Six bags and a box of tools
       Does it have to be true?

          This is all we have left of you

        A narrative through luggage//

                          // so much left unsaid

  The place where we said goodbye

                                      Where you gave me your last cigarette

                 The place where you said "soon enough"

                                        And soon became forever
The place where our eyes last met

                                        Not enough light to be exchanged

              I cannot see; I cannot listen.

              I cannot speak.

"Hopeless Hopeful, we begged you not to go back.
The house was on fire
Now: //so are you\\

His shoes are too big
You miss him
His room is too cold
You miss him
These photos, just paper
You miss him
The memories keep fading
You miss him

Hopeless Hopeful, why don't you ever listen?

You left your heart out in the rain
Just like your sister's Tamagotchi
No one else could keep you dry
There are safer feelings than being high

You stare at his name on a bottle of Oxycodone. You think: he left this for me. You hold the pills under your tongue for what feels like d a y s. As you swallow, a glimpse of light returns.

In that moment you feel safe. You almost even see the light.

The days continue to pass. You try to conquer the nothingness. Caught in between the light and dark. You're not sure which way is r[l]ight.

This beer makes me feel warm, may I have another?

How many pills are too many pills?

Is this needle clean?"

•••

•••

Take care of my child

•••


The end
           doesn't have to be;